At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
