My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
