While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
