ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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