I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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