i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
