I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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