I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
