I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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