I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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