I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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