Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
