my sisters under your porch take her home
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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