Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
