he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
