I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
