Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
