STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
