It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
