One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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