how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
