also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
