K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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