there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
