Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
