After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
