Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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