I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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