He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
