I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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