And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
