If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sorry about my life...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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