I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
