I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
