do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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