I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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