The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
