pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
