I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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