ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
