these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
