did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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