But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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