We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We're too hungover to prance.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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