I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
