Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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