you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
