New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
