I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
