i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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